Cake For Breakfast

When things are under my control, I don’t over-analyse or stress out or wait on baited breath. Why should I? I’m the one in control. But, when something’s in the hands of other people, I turn into a bundle of freaked out nerves. And it’s not fun. Right now the current “drive myself nutso over something I can’t control” is about a house for rent we WANT, and want badly. But, we have to wait. Patiently HA I say. It’s not so bad during the day time, when I’m distracted, and I’m not making a million plans for space and houses that aren’t even ours. But at night, when it’s quiet and I’m trying to sleep. I just can’t wait. Even if it’s bad news……….at least then I know. I’m not a patient person I guess when it comes right down to it Oh well. I’ve got other strengths……..lol

I’ve found lately that I have no patience anymore for status-quo parenting. I was going to say mainstream parenting, but some of my best friends are “mainstream” parents, and aren’t parenting the way that annoys me. I’ve mentioned about this before, but it’s still bothering me. Punitive parenting maybe? I don’t know what to call it, but the labelling and the punishments and the making mountains out of molehills and all that kind of parenting is getting under my skin. Unfortunately I haven’t found the “perfect” place yet where parenting styles aren’t bothering me. What gets the most under my skin at the moment, are parents who try to “fix” their kids, when they’re missing the whole point. Drives me nuts! Those that think the way their kids are wired, is wrong, and has to be fixed. Why? To fit into the traditional school system is one of them, to make life easier for the parents could be another one. I don’t know. Parenting is damn hard work, I understand that, and to deal with a non-typical child on top it, is extremely hard, but why is the automatic response to “fix” them? I just don’t get it.

I don’t think I’m ever going to get it.

And, ironically, I read this quote just moments ago, which nails it on the head of what bothers me. I’m not out for parental convenience or control, and I want to provide bounless opportunity:

Unschooling parents do not abdicate parental responsibility, they do
not deprive their children of their protection and care, but they do
go far beyond most parents, now or historically, in choosing support
of freedom over parental control and convenience, as they offer real
choices in an environment that does not focus on limiting a child’s
options, but provides nearly boundless opportunity.- Pam S

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It’s now almost pool time. We’ve had a week of plus-20 degree weather, so it’s about time, but the bugs are horrible, and we’re about to move and I’m not looking forward to setting it up, just to move But, hey, it’s hot, and we won’t be at the lake for another month or so, so, pool time it is. June was killer-hot last year, and May is being pretty hot now. So it might just be another hot summer, which is ok by me

I’ve had things I’ve read, TV shows or movies I’ve watched, songs I’ve heard; stick with me. I mean beyond learning about something, but actually stick in my head for days. I’ve had a couple of things lately do that. One was the last two Harry Potter books. One was the season finale of Greys Anatomy. Which lead to a new song, and a new group I love. But I haven’t been able to shake the episode off yet. The last time a TV show did that to me, was a season finale of Third Watch, which, actually spawned another song love. Hmmmmmmmm, maybe there’s something to that.

It’s not annoying, but it’s frustrating. Since it’s fiction . I can’t do anything about it. I just ponder it I guess. It feels silly to be putting that much energy into a fictional thought, but it’s something that is on my mind.

Sometimes I can’t move on to a new book, or a new show, because this is stuck in my head. Like I have to lay the characters to rest. Or something.

yes. I. am. a. freak.

So this would be, um, science class? I read about Mentos and Diet Pop geysers a few months ago. On a spur of the moment flash, we picked up 3-2L of pop and a couple of tubes of Mentos to try it out ourselves. But, it was stinking wet and cold, but the kids wanted to try anyways So, here’s the result:

Video Hosting – Upload Video – Photo Sharing

Video Hosting – Upload Video – Photo Sharing

And, FYI, Diet Pop *IS* sticky!!! But I have nice clean kids now!!LOL

I find this roller-coaster ride called “Preteen Girl” (and Boy, since he’s starting to change too) is hard on me at times. I find I struggle to maintain mindful parenting and to stick to my guns about being a nice, calm, mindful parent. I struggle to keep at bay the traditional and mainstream views of preteens and teenagers. I honestly think teenagers are going to be a lot of fun! I’m finding the older kids a lot of fun. Not that I want my littles to grow up faster to be preteens, but it’s nice to be locked in a fierce discussion about WW2 and the role of Canada in the world with a 11 year old, instead of being locked in a fierce battle (at least in the 3yo’s mind) over the colour of her waffle. But, I find the quick-to-grump attitude hard to take. It’s the grumpy that gets me. So I struggle with that. Especially since *I* was the oldest, and I try so hard not to put her in the same situations I felt in as the oldest. She’s got it harder too, since I was the oldest of 2. She’s the oldest of 4. Her dad and I struggle with this balance. So, when I see common ground, I jump on it.

We have a very open and honest relationship. I’ve had umpteen conversations with her lately about sex and drugs and pregnancy and STD’s and boyfriends and divorce and puberty and on and on and on. Which, there’s a little voice in my head screaming “RUN AWAY!!!!!” while I’m talking with her, but I know being open and honest with her is the right way to handle all her questions. Makes for interesting dinner conversation at times though

But, one area of common ground we’ve found recently, makes me feel really old in a way. She’s a reader. Maybe not to the level I am; I’m a compulsive reader. If I don’t have something to read in the house, within a week I’m pacing and hyper. I’ll read novels 15 times over just to have something in hand. Cereal boxes, ketchup bottles, you name it. She’s not to that point, but at our last library checkout, she had to borrow Brandon’s card to put 5 books on, because she had out 50 books on hers already. Anyways, the thing is, about a year ago, I turned her onto a series I read as a kid (though I had to sneak them….), “Sweet Valley High”. I found the Sweet Valley Twins books first, she plowed through them. Then she went onto…well whatever the next ones were. Now she’s reading the high school ones along with other ones in the series. The thing is? I remember those books, and rememeber them well. I’d go to the school library and take them out so my parents wouldn’t know I was reading them, and hide them in my desk at school and read them during class. I’d read them at friend’s houses, and go to the library and sit and read them. I LOVED those books.

So, now, she’s reading them too. And I know the characters, and the stories, and the characteristics of each person. And we can talk about them. And it’s just so weird Weird because she’s interested in them; she’s not in other favourites of mine. Weird because I can remember them, though it was so long ago. Weird that they seem to be timeless. But, at the same time, it just plain and simple tickles me pink that she likes at least one thing I do, and not because I did, but because she does herself.

She’s not trying to please me by reading them, or sharing them with me, she’s reading them because she loves them I wonder if she’d like Nancy Drew?

I wonder what common ground I’ll end up finding with Brandon?? Time will tell.

Forgive me, but I don’t remember who posted this, or where I read it. I’m in a habit of C&Ping quotes and comments and posts I read, to share later with friends and the husband. But, this was so good, I hope it’s ok to share it. And, if you know who said it, please let me know so I can credit them!!!!!

Reading readiness is only an issue in school settings. Outside of school, one doesn’t need to be reading at age “?” because they have to read the next paragraph aloud to the class. Schools want kids to be reading all at the same time so that it’s easier for the teacher.

If all the kids do everything at the same time then they can move on to the next lesson plan on time so that they can take the test and pass so that the schools can get their funding and then the teachers can still teach and the kids can still go to school.

Then in that light, when a child is not reading at the allotted age, then there must be something wrong with that child. Scores and scores of people have earned scores and scores of money trying to fix that problem. Then, to add incentive, the schools actually get a little extra for special ed type classes. Dyslexia, boy, that sure is bad, we better help that poor kid because he’s got “DYSLEXIA”. So more money
is spent, more people become experts on it and there it is, a learning disability.

Take that same child out of that school system, and the “problem” of dyslexia goes away! It is just that child and that child’s individual way at seeing the world. Kids with dyslexia can learn to read. Schools like to think they have all the answers for solving that one but while solving it, they’ve also damaged a child by telling him there is something “wrong” with him, something “wrong” with the fact that he’s not reading at the age of “?”, so something must be done to fix it.

I don’t know a single child who has been labeled with “dyslexia” that thinks there isn’t something wrong with themself. I’ve met several kids that have been labeled as such. While the intentions may be to “help” that child, the damage is done from the beginning of the questioning of why that child isn’t reading at the age of “?”. This is why labeling a child who is unschooled just doesn’t make sense.

Without the confines and structure of the school system, dyslexia doesn’t mean much, except as trivial information about how someone’s brain works. Brain research is interesting, but in light of unschooling, it’s needless for solving dyslexia, when the solution is to simply wait and let the child figure it out on their own terms.

Absolutely beautiful!

I think I bit off more than I can chew this spring and summer. We’re up in the air about work and housing, and on top of that, the kids have been begging to go to summer camp. And sports night. And swimming lessons. And so on. Which isn’t a problem at all, but it makes it all more fun to try and figure out if we’re even going to be in the province come summer

But the Boys and Girls club offered a 5 week program. A REALLY affordable on, $15 a program (so $3 a night), but, times four kids??LOL Yikes. Yes, I said four. My 3 year old is convinced she wants to go to “soccer camp” so we’re signing her up for a Wednesday night class. It should be interesting, since she’s dealing with some pretty intense fear lately. But, she’ll be going with me, and the older kids can play on the grounds while we’re there, so it’ll be ok. I think it’s totally different to take her because she wants to, then to put her in because she’s a certain age and “everyone’s doing it”. She’s only three. None of the other kids did organized activities at 3 years old. I’m finding it interesting that she’s the fearful and scared one right now, but she’s the one that is dying to try this too. Kid’s got a lot of nerves!

So, this spring, from Mid-May until Late June, we’ll be spending 3 nights a week at the Boys and Girls club. Azura, Brandon and Max are taking Sports Night and Artistic Adventures, Sophia’s going to Gym and Fun. And that’s just this spring……that’s not counting the summer camps Azura and Brandon are already in, and the soccer camps all three older kids want to go to if we have the funding and they have the spaces. Busy busy busy!

What got under my skin though, as I’ve been planning summer activities for the kids and figuring out exactly how we’d make it work, is how much pressure is on young kids nowadays. THREE and FOUR year olds. They’re still babies. I don’t care how “advanced” your three or four year old is, they’re still babies. They’re only 3 years away from their first breath, why is there such a rush to send them out into the big, bad world? One program I saw, was for 3-4 year olds. And was called, I kid you NOT, Kindergarten Readiness Program. For THREE YEAR OLDS! WHY???? Even if you send your kids to school at 5 or 6, why on earth does a 3 year old need a prep course? It stated:

“Emphasis is placed on Socialization skills, Listening skills and SCHOOL READINESS SKILLS (emphasis mine)

Are you kidding me?? At three? What school readiness skill does a THREE year old need?

Three year olds are barely using the potty, some are still breastfeeding, some are still co-sleeping (I know mine is). Some have amazing verbal skills, but still suck their thumbs. They’re still carrying their blankies and their lovies and need a mommy’s kiss when they fall down. Why in hell do they need to “learn” these “skills”? Why at 3? Not even that, why send them to something like that? Why not just BE with them? Why this push? I just don’t get it.

Now, fine, I know people are going to sniff and say, well, you don’t count, because you wouldn’t be sending them to that or to school. True, I wouldn’t be. But at one time I DID have a kid in school, two in fact, and they didn’t go to preschool at 3 or 4. Brandon went to preschool at almost 5, but because he wanted to, and he loved it, and, it wasn’t very schooly. Think Sudbury School for 4-5 year olds But at three, they sure as heck didn’t. And they were no further behind OR ahead in those skills than the rest of their kids their age. In fact, the “school, listening and socialization skills” were NEVER an issue or problem when they attended school. This is the first year Max is showing any interest in taking an outside activity. And he’s 6 1/2. At three he barely left our sides, and never into a situation like that. I can’t imagine sending my current 3yo to school. It would be horrible! Even my social butterfly, at three, was not ready for this sort of thing. Actually, at 3 1/2 I was taking her to university classes with me, but, it still wasn’t this “toddler school”.

The three-year old school just boggles my mind. It’s not like daycare, or preschool even. This specialized “get toddlers ready for school” school is what gets me most. What skill is absolutely essential for a three year old to know? Breathing? Eating? Walking? What?

I think it’s a sure fire, guarenteed way to squeeze every ounce of spark out of a kid as early as possible. Three year olds need to learn no school skills, no listening skills, no socialization skills. They need to be three. And then four. And then five. And then six. And so on. They don’t need school. They need life. Life is learning, and learning is life. School isn’t a need. Just BEING is the need.

We had a baby Ok, *I* had the baby, but I obviously had help with making the baby, so, *WE* had a baby 11 years ago. It was a beautiful day, after a very long, very cold winter. One of those sunny, warm, BLUE SKY, spring days. The days where you can see summer coming, but you’re not so far away from winter you can’t appreciate it.

Anyways……..we had a gorgeous, chubby, 8 1/2 pound bouncing baby girl. Who is now a gorgeous 80 pound baby girl. Well, I guess not a baby anymore, eh? She’s 11. That’s almost 30. In her mind though, not mine. I still see that chubby little baby. I’ll always see that chubby little baby I think. It’s the mom thing. The dad thing is, hey, she’s closer to 16 than being that little baby. *sigh* She is, isn’t she? Wow.

So, Happy Birthday to my baby Girl. The Baby Girl who’s all grownup now.

We love you!