Cake For Breakfast

A post for the Unschooling Voices Carnival #2

Unschooling Voices Carnival

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(posted originally July 16, 2006)

I was thinking about this yesterday, as the kids packed to go to the lake again. I thought about how varied our household is in reading, and how that would play out if the kids were in school. I was also thinking about how Brandon’s been developing with his reading and the changes and growth I’ve seen in him lately. And, I realized the irony, that the mom with a passionate love of reading, gave birth to a little boy who needs a longer time to learn to read. But that’s ok Just makes things more interesting!

I’ll get into the neat stuff that’s been happening with Brandon, but first, here’s what reading looks like in our house.

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Andrew doesn’t read fiction. Ever. In fact, other than textbooks or required reading in high school/university, in 13+ years, I’ve never seen him pick up a book. Sure, he’ll read passages I show him, but he doesn’t read just to read. He reads magazines. Reads mostly exclusively online, and reads for information. Since his job IS reading in a way, he actually reads a lot, just not to read, though I guess it’s pleasurable for him, or he wouldn’t do it, right?

I read anything that’ll hold my interest. You know that person that reads the cereal box, milk container, jam jar, orange juice container at the breakfast table? That’s me. I read obsessively. I can’t ever remember not knowing to read; my mother brags I was reading at 2. I speedread as well, so I can devour books in a couple of hours if I’m interested. I would have to guess I’ve read in the hundreds of thousands of books over the past 30-odd years. Seriously. It’s not just fiction either (though that’s most of it). It’s cookbooks, parenting books, magazines, biographies, autobiographies, how-to books…anything that holds my interest, I’ll read. I read for the pure pleasure of reading but I do read for information; it’s just not the main reason I could easily spend all day reading….and have

Azura is more like me, but a little bit like Andrew too. She devours books, but all different books. Not just fiction, but non-fiction with the same passion. And, she reads decently fast too, so I can see myself in her and I can see her years from now with the same pleasure being derived from books.

Brandon has never been into book-books. Not as an infant, or a toddler or in his older child years. He loves magazines and comics and cookbooks (of all things). But fiction? No. He does like being read to, a LOT, but he wouldn’t pick up a picture book or a story book. Until lately…and I’ll explain later. He’s not reading yet fluently, and he’s having trouble realizing that if he’s recognizing words, he’s actually reading, but he’s coming far and fast. He’s like his dad in the “read for information” thing, but he does like stories if he can listen to them.

Max will pick up anything. He always loved letters and books and words. He’s reading fluently now for the most part but I haven’t seen him pick up a book and read it. I know he can read, and we’re always available to him if he wants us to read to him. Most of his reading is related to video games at the moment LOL In fact, I think that’s how he learned to read/why he learned to read. He didn’t want to wait for us to read game information to him Which I’ve heard, is common…LOL We didn’t even realize he knew how to read until he read..LOL He’s been reading almost a year? Maybe? Maybe less? I’m not actually sure. I think he was still 5 He mostly reads video game information and Spongebob books and comics/magazines. He’s a combo of reading stuff he’s interested in, reading for pleasure, and reading for information. Not sure how that’ll play out as he gets older.

Sophia loves books Loves being read to, and loves reading herself. I’ll find her sitting somewhere, with a book, either reading to herself, or singing while she’s reading. And yes, she can read. Not a lot, but she has a bunch of words she knows, and a bunch of words she’s memorized, and since most of her favourite “read herself” books at the moment are Sandra Boynton books? She can read them I think she’ll end up as a read for pleasure reader…but again, who knows. She’s only 3.

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Now, for the neat part…not that the above isn’t neat, but the next part is really neat! Brandon had a really bad school experience, mostly due to reading expectations the school had for this little 5 year old boy. He was never a little boy that liked to read; he’d tolerate being read to, but he had to be doing something else at the time. Which was fine with us. We knew that reading was a purely individual thing, and that some would read at 2 and some would read at older ages, but it would come. At 5, he just wasn’t ready yet, but the school demanded that he read. For 6 months. And, looking back on when he was in preschool, he was starting to read. He loved that preschool. But, after we removed him from school, he wouldn’t pick up a book. Wouldn’t let us read to him. He’d burst into tears at the mention of reading or books. For months on end. Then, about 4 months out of school, he started looking through his dad’s collection of old comics.

As the months progressed, he was reading some sight words, words he’d memorized, and so on, and he started picking up magazines and game manuals and looking through those. He started letting us read to him again. And this is how things sat for about two years. He slowly started adding more words to his known words, but he still said he couldn’t read…and wouldn’t read…and didn’t read. And we kept reading to him. We always read for him. And went out of our way to just do it. With no bitterness, no criticism, no demeaning him. He needed help reading, we helped him. Like we’d do for anyone who needed help with something. He wasn’t afraid of books, and he’d pore over them and he didn’t realize there were reading levels so he was looking through books that he was interested in, not that he could read.

And he kept maintaining he couldn’t read. Didn’t know how. And people started worrying about this fact. And he got older. And older. And people really started to worry. Andrew and I kept saying, he’s only 7. He’s only 8. He’s just 9. Without any pressure, he’ll learn how to read. Pressure will only make him NOT read.

In the interests of full disclosure, I will say, he’s not reading yet. But he will. But some neat things have happened lately that wouldn’t have happened before he was ready, and haven’t happened to this degree before now.

About four weeks ago I was heading to the library, and I asked the kids if anyone wanted to come with me. Azura did of course, and Brandon said he’d come too. He didn’t take out any books, or even look through any, but he walked the stacks with me, looked at the model boats they had, and, helped me find a book I was looking for. Unknown to him, reading the author’s name.

About three weeks ago I had to go back to the library to pick up some cookbooks that came in, and Brandon pipes up, “I want to go too! I want to take some books out!”. Um, SURE! If that wasn’t neat enough, he picked out and checked out 6 books. 2 Garfield books, a Calvin and Hobbes book, and three military books. This was on a Friday. All that day and the following day he dragged the military books around with him. If he wasn’t doing something else, he had one of those books open. Followed me around so I could read the passages to him. Sat with his dad and looked through the book about battle and they talked about all the different weapons and so on. Sunday morning he woke up and came up to eat cereal.

Sat down with his bowl of cereal. Gets ready to eat. Puts the spoon down. Jumps down, goes and digs out the book, and sits back down to eat. And proceeds to eat and read and telling his sister all about it. I’d never seen him do that before! Ever! He continued to drag that book around.

Then we/they went to the lake. When we got back two days later, I asked if Azura wanted to take books back up with her. She said no, but Brandon piped up, “HEY, I want to!!” So he did. He took all his books up with him. And brought them back. And didn’t touch them all last week.

Yesterday, as we were getting them ready to leave for the lake again, I asked them, like last time, do you want to take any books? Brandon jumped at the chance! “YES!! I do!!” I said, do you want them with you in the van, or packed to read at the lake. He says, “oh, in the van, I want to read them on the way up.” And proceeded to tell us, though there’s fun stuff to do all day at the lake, he liked having something there to read when he was bored and that he should have taken them in the first place.

It was so exciting. And, yes, I’d be as excited for him if it wasn’t reading, and instead was something else…..like carpentry or painting or something else. The spark and enjoyment he’s starting to find is what’s so exciting to see. He may never be a super-fast reader, or read purely for enjoyment, but he will read, when he’s ready, and it’ll be a more true and real experience for him because he’ll be ready.

When my children are no longer children, you will not be able to tell who started reading at 3 and who started reading at 13. You’ll see four confident readers, comfortable in their ability, with no fear of unknown words or phrases, and able to ask for help if needed if they don’t know or understand something. They’ll have great skills and comprehension because they’ve done it when they’re ready. They’re not focused and panicked about reading, it’s just another skill they’re figuring out and adding to their knowledge base.

I realized the heat is making me long for fall. I love September and early October probably more than any other months (though I love Christmas time, but not the actual “month” if that makes sense). When the days are warm enough to let you wear short-sleeved shirts and the nights are cool enough you can snuggle under a blanket, but you’re not hot or cold. That earthy smell that comes in the air, the smell of fireplaces and woodstoves, the ability to stew and roast and slow-cook food without heating your house up for a week We seem to have a burst in energy in those months. The weather is conducive to outside stuff, it’s not too cold or hot to have the house open, the places we like to go to are empty because the kids are all back in school around town, and it’s just a nice time of year.

This year I’m not exactly sure what about those months I’m looking forward to, though, I could say, after the weather we’ve had this July, the first and foremost thing will be the cooler weather. Maybe I’m looking forward to the feeling those months have. It always seems to be a new beginning that time of year, which makes no sense to me intellectually, but in my heart it seems all new. I think some of it might be a tie-in to the start of school, even when I was homeschooled, because everything was new and just starting. New books, new supplies, new teachers, new clothes, new accessories. Some of it is that by September I’m sick to death of BBQ’ed food, and cold food and I’m looking forward to actually COOKING Some of it is that it’s the first September we have an almost 4 year old and NO INFANT So we’re a little more free to go do things and go places. And can’t forget my wedding anniversary and my sister’s 30th birthday in there too. I think my inlaws will still be here too for Thanksgiving (since ours is in October) so we’ll maybe have to plan a Thanksgiving dinner and see who shows up

And I always feel inspired to organize my house, clean out cupboards, plan menus, go back to school, make lists, create lesson plans…LMAO and so on. I don’t actually MAKE lesson plans, but I get that urge to come September. Which means, I usually plan to do stuff like that for myself, and not torment the kids with it I acknowledge the fact I get a weird, obsessive, psychotic urge to do stuff like that, but I also know better than to make the kids suffer the consequences. So for a couple weeks in September and October I print lists, and charts and make all these plans Maybe September is my January?

I found this AWESOME picture today when I was looking for new pictures to make new themes for this blog, and I just HAD to use it. I have a weakness for blue, and this did me in

So I decided to use it now, since it’s still summer, and it’s gorgeous I’m feeling creative lately, so I’m going to be making some new ones for fall/winter I think….the mountain theme was nice, but made me feel cold, which, considering the weather lately wasn’t all that bad of an idea, but I wanted something with BANG!

So, BANG!

Edited to add: I made ALL the buttons/backgrounds and bullets Just to brag…

That is all….

Azura’s developed an interest in those nanny shows. It started with her being upset one day about something involving us (I can’t remember what it was now) and I told her that there are other families with rules and all sorts of punishments and so on. She didn’t exactly believe me (LOL) so I figured, since *I* didn’t want to be that sort of parent, I’d show her in a painless way. Well, wouldn’t you know it, she likes watching those shows. So last night we’re watching one from a couple months ago. The writeup for it (the show description) blew my mind. It read “A 3 year old’s unruly behaviour gets her kicked out of daycare and forces her mother to quit her job to stay home”. *jaw drop* yeah….

So Azura’s watching it, and the rest of us are busy with other things, and as it plays, I get drawn in and Andrew gets drawn in by this thing playing out in front of us. The little girl, who was now 4, was in “school” and it was a long and drawn out process to get her dressed and out the door. She cried the whole time that she didn’t want to go to school. Now, the thing was, the mom didn’t work. She was a SAHM. We sat there saying to ourselves, why are they making her do this? One morning it was so bad, the mom took her to school in her PJ’s because she didn’t want to get dressed. We were just stunned. LOL

Now, admittedly, this little girl reminded me of Sophia. But, in a million years, I could never imagine dragging Sophia out of her bed, screaming for hours, to go to school. Preschool or otherwise. Can you imagine if that little one was home with her mom?

Of course, this sounds hypocritical of me because Sophia will be attending a playschool this fall and I’m a SAHM and she could be home with me. But we’re all using preschool in a totally different way than other parents might. She’s there only if and when she wants to. If she decides she doesn’t like it anymore, that’s it. I also told them that if there are days we have plans or she doesn’t want to go, she won’t be there. We looked for something that would accommodate her so it was her choice. She gets to choose. Yes, I realize she’s only 3, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t have a choice. We are working with her to accomplish something she wants to attain. Which, for her right now is to go so a place where she has dance classes and music classes and so on. If *she* chooses to leave, we’ll support that as well.

In a neat twist, watching that show also led to a conversation about questioning the status quo, religion, faith, war, and Nietzsche. Not too shabby for a show that drives me nuts It’s seeming more and more lately that anything brings up interesting questions and conversations. Keeps me on my toes.

Yesterday we adopted two little gerbil girls. They’re so cute, and they came with all their stuff. They’re the first “real” pets the kids have ever had, other than fish. Sophia’s a bit mad that they’re not dogs, but she loves the fact they climb all over her and let her pat them We’re going to upgrade their cage and hand-tame them a little more, but, for a starter pet, and for free, they’re perfect!!!

And, they have the world’s best pet names:

Ramona and Beezus (Ramona’s World anyone??)

Though Andrew calls them “Late Night Snack” and “Dinner” LOL

I was thinking about all the “back to school” stuff in the last couple of days. I know in other places, schools get out in May/June and go back in July/August, but here the school kids get out the last week in June, and go back the day after Labour Day. But here it is, the kids have been out of school for only three weeks, and stores are already putting SUMMER stuff on clearance and putting out their back to school stuff. Why? It’s July 21. Summer is only one month in. There’s two months of summer left (according to the seasons). The local garden centre at our grocery store just closed yesterday; all their summer clothing and shoes and things like pool accessories are on DNO (do not order) and on clearance.

Now, true, for our kids, it doesn’t matter when stuff goes on sale and when the back to school stuff happens, but man alive, talk about depressing All these kids just got OUT of school, and now everything’s heralding their impending doom LOL I remember back to school stuff happening in late August. And the stores were PACKED But you could still find flipflops and swimsuits and beach toys in addition to the school stuff.

Ok, true, I like the summer stuff being on clearance, it’s great for my budget But, it’s hard to find particular items, and I just feel bad for kids and people who have to go back to the grindstone in 7 weeks, but have it looming for the next 7 weeks.

Ah, well….I’ll just take advantage of the sales and stock up on flipflops, swimsuits, sunscreen and new crayons!!

AKA, the homeschoolers choose preschool……

After MUCH deliberation, and after lots of input from the child who’s been asking for it, we decided to send Sophia to preschool. Or I should say, she decided to go We’ve offered other alternatives, given her other opportunities, but she kept asking to go to preschool. Not that she had the slighest clue what preschool WAS, but she knew she wanted to go, even after we told her what it was. *sigh* It feels like I’m betraying the cause or something….abandoning ship? Something like that. But it’s HER choice, on HER terms, which makes it totally different than if we were making her go. I told the staff that there’d be days she wouldn’t be attending, and if, at any time, she didn’t want to continue, we’d be pulling her out.

Andrew and several other friends of ours made the point, that it’s NOT school and that it’s something she’s been begging to do for weeks now. Yes, the same child that in June, was terrified of people. This same child. So we went looking for a play-based, child-centered preschool, and found one. With a small number of kids attending, and based on the children’s interests.

I don’t feel bad about signing her up. I knew when I sent the kids to “real” school, it was the wrong move in my gut, but I did it anyways, but this feels right for her. I can’t believe I admitted that…LOL Brandon loved preschool too; it was the same style of preschool (at the time; it’s changed now) as this one that we’re sending Sophia too.

She’s so excited. The irony. The dye in the wool homeschoolers….with a kid in preschool But, we’d be doing her a disservice if we didn’t let her try this out, since it’s something she wants to do so bad, and it isn’t something that’s inherently bad for her. I think a lot of it is the other kids/music/dance classes…and the fact they have a massive, indoor play structure might be the other thing So we’re giving it a try……it doesn’t mean we’re sending her to school; this isn’t a “preschool” for her……maybe I need a better word for it? And the older kids are excited too, because we’ll have a couple hours a day without a “baby” (their words) around so we can go attend some older activities without her.

It’s about doing what’s best for your child. For Sophia, right now, it’s providing an extra source of friends, activities, play equipment and opportunities for her to fullfil her love of dance and music. For her, right now, this is the choice she wants to make. Yes, I realize she’s only 3…ok, closer to 4, but still. But she can, and does, choose. And her choice right now is to try this. Some things will be available to her to choose, some won’t, but we’re trying to keep her options open.

I’m not explaining this well I can hear in my head, people saying, well would you let her choose to smoke dope at 3? But there’s a huge difference between that, which a 3 year old would have no life experience or knowledge to know the risks, and a 3 year old who knows this place has dance and art and music and other kids and a playpark and….well you get the idea. In her life experience, this is what she wants to do now. It’s like if she wanted to take piano lessons, or dance class (which she does, the dance class) or taekwondo or….. if she decides it’s not for her, so be it, but, knowing my daughter, she’s going to LOVE IT If it comes that it doesn’t work out for her, and I need to step in, I’ll do it as well.

Yes, it’s just that hot. It’s not even that it’s hot, it’s humid, and we all know the saying: “It’s not the heat, it’s the humidity”. Well it’s the heat too but last night it was the humidity. You know it’s going to be a hot, humid day when it’s cooler at 8pm than midnight! ICK….

Luckily for the older two kids, they’re at the lake, but I think we’re going to hit the pool today down here. Though, considering the weather….probably everyone else is going to have that idea too Hey, it’s July, what do you expect?? Though, last year, we had the AC in by now, and we don’t now, so that might be a difference? ya think??

Time to break out the sunscreen and the pool floaties!

Yup, that’s us, fearless travellers! No, really!

What REALLY happened, is that Max got homesick. Plain and simple So, we came home, but the older two kids stayed up at the lake with the grandparents for the rest of the week/weekend. They have/want to be back here for the playpark on Monday, so we’ll probably try again and hit the lake the week of the 14th. Or try again

And honestly, it sucked It was nice, and fun, but the bugs were the worst I’ve ever seen them, Sophia was a walking bug bite, and it rained and was muggy. Just NOT a good start to the lake for the little ones. But Sophia was in heaven, I was in heaven because I didn’t have to cook or clean and the other kids loved that they can just say “I’m going for a walk, I’ll be back for supper”:D Very nice!!

And I DID miss my internet, but I read a couple of good books!!!