February 25, 2019

Keeping Your Kids Safe On Instagram

I am often asked how my children deal with social media. Are there any special tips or tricks or advice I give them to deal with the stress (and trolls) that come with sharing our lives and being in the public eye? I wish there was a magical answer, but the truth is, there isn’t. It’s all about perspective. For Chloe, Instagram has been part of her life since its inception, and for Clara, since she was born.

Chloe started her Instagram account on the back of the Dance Moms bus with the rest of the girls because they wanted to post funny pictures of themselves and each other. There was no “curating feeds”, no filters, no sponsored posts. It was simply to share their lives. And their usernames were RIDICULOUS: Chloedancer3, kkxoxo22, ilovetodanceandmymomisthebest, yytt66777ballerina, etc. (Who would have known how difficult it would be to claim our own names back a few years later.) I can remember watching their followers grow and saying things like “oh wow! 10,000 followers? Cool. Did you finish your homework?” And I totally remember when Chloe reached 1M followers. We were standing in a public restroom, the morning before a competition. She looked at her phone and said, “COOOL!!!!! My followers has an M! I have a million!” and I told her to post a thank you and we moved on with our day. NBD. Again, we had NO IDEA how huge this would become.

This is not Chloe’s first Instagram post because a few years ago, she deleted all of her really old posts. Do you think I was happy about that? If you said “no”, you are correct.

And then I decided to start Clara’s Instagram just because she was a cute little baby and I thought her pics were fun and special because she was the little sidekick on all of our adventures. Fast forward seven years later and people are creating IG accounts for babies who aren’t even born yet.

Apparently, I deleted all of Clara’s earliest posts, too. UGH.

I personally was one of the last moms to get on board and create an Instagram account because I preferred to share my wit with the world through Twitter. And I hated photos of myself. Still do, but I have come to terms with it.

I am actually the only one of us that has all of my original Instagram content. My first post was in January 2012 and I hardly EVER posted pics of myself.

So, at the early onset of Instagram and Twitter and Facebook, we were not growing businesses, or looking for who had the largest following, or even how to engage followers. It was just a way for our friends and families to keep up with us. However, that has CLEARLY changed and social media is a huge, wild place with few rules and even less monitoring.

Magical Instagram Secrets

1.     It ultimately starts with the parents. As a parent, you can just let you children have complete access to the internet without any type of monitoring however, you run the risk of them being exposed to trolls, but also content that you may not want them to see. On one hand, you want to trust them and give them space, but it’s up to make sure they’re not bullying or being bullied or “talking” to a stranger and sometimes the only way to do that is stalking. Do they hate it? Yep. Do I care? Not one bit.

2.     Remind, remind, REMIND them that any hate on their pages is coming from people who don’t know them personally. Most of the time. There are occasional mean kids from school that will pop up and troll them and, in that situation, we just talk about how there will always be mean kids and there always have been, they just didn’t always have social media. We will have the same discussion that we have when a child is mean at school and try to remind them that if someone is being cruel, it usually is coming from a place of insecurity. It’s so tough when the words are written for the world to see, but that is also what “Delete” is for.

3.     Use Instagram’s Comment Controls! There is a feature that is SO handy for parents (and yourself!). go to the upper right corner of your profile and there are three dots: click on those. That brings you to the Options page. Scroll down to “Comment Controls” and click on it. You will then have the option to choose who you allow comments from and you can limit it to people you follow, your followers, both, or everyone. You can eliminate a lot of hassle by eliminating everyone, however, there are other options if you don’t want to go that extreme route. You can choose to click on “Hide Offensive Comments” and (THIS IS MY SECRET MOM LIFESAVER!!!) “Manual filter.” At this point, you can choose to hide comments that include certain words.

For example, when Chloe was having medical issues with her eye and some people were being brutal, I simply chose to block the word “eye” from her account. It was magical. And that small step gave me peace of mind. So, get on your accounts and your children’s accounts and BLOCK THOSE WORDS that you’re worried about!

4.     Block the really awful people. As a last resort, I will just fully block the truly heinous people from my girls’ accounts. If the person is leaving comment after comment on your kids’ accounts, simply click on their name and it will bring you to their profile. Again, click those three magical dots in the corner and you will get the option to Block, Report or Mute the person. It is up to you what level you want to take it, but I tend to have a zero-tolerance policy when it comes to my children, so I block them. And then feel so victorious afterwards. Sorry, not sorry.

Having access to social media is a huge responsibility we should all appreciate and take seriously. There is a reason most platforms have age limits, however, let’s be real: kids are going to be on social media. And it is our job to monitor and keep them safe, just like in a physical situation. Words can hurt JUST as much as a kick or slap and we want to protect our kids as much as we can, so take advantage of the tools that are available to you. And talk to you kids. The more they feel confident in themselves, the less affected they will be by someone hiding behind a keyboard or a phone screen.

Thanks for reading and sharing!

XO, Christi

View Comments +

  1. Carrieanne

    February 25th, 2019 at 9:17 pm

    Love this blog im only 12 and i didnt know you could block out certain words on instagram thats a very good idea

  2. clukasiak

    February 27th, 2019 at 2:53 pm

    Its amazing and will make your life so much happier! XO, Christi

  3. Heather Lewis

    February 25th, 2019 at 9:53 pm

    Thank you for sharing, I had no idea about the comment filters! I’ve had my fair share of people saying very inappropriate/sexual comments from when I was 16, on both Instagram and Facebook, that I turned them both on private. Social media really is the Wild West of the internet.

    You have done such a wonderful job with protecting your girls from trolls, so I hope all those awful people have stopped since it has been a while since you left the show.

  4. Sophia T.

    February 25th, 2019 at 11:04 pm

    Loved this post, Christi! I think you are doing a great job and I look forward to reading them everytime you post. I didn’t know about the Instagram filters I thought those were only available for people who were ‘verified’ on Instagram!

  5. Kekeoffical1

    February 26th, 2019 at 4:00 am

    Always watch the show and I love how you always stick up for Chloe and the rest of girls, you have done a great job raising them both 🙌, thanks for all the advise, I will know what to do if I see any mean comments.

  6. clukasiak

    February 27th, 2019 at 2:56 pm

    You are so welcome nad thank you for the nice words! XO, Christi

  7. Bethany

    February 26th, 2019 at 9:07 am

    Love this, you’re a goddess!

  8. clukasiak

    February 27th, 2019 at 2:56 pm

    Awe, and YOU are the sweetest! XO, Christi

  9. Susan Garcia

    February 28th, 2019 at 8:00 am

    I am so happy that you started this blog, l love it! I didn’t know anything about blocking people until another Chloe fan and myself were being chased around Twitter just because we love Chloe and they are Maddie fans who do nothing but spew vile things about Chloe for no apparent reason. Unbeknownst to me she finally blocked them but they were still chasing me, and it was exhausting because l kept trying to defend Chloe and l didn’t know what to do next. So she told me to just block them and how to do it. What a relief! I never heard of blocking a word though. You’re a fabulous Mom Christi, and your girls are a bright shiny example of that fact! Love you all so much!✨✨✨✨✨✨

  10. clukasiak

    March 2nd, 2019 at 4:14 pm

    The word blocking button is one of my favorite little secrets. I’m sorry that you have dealt with trolls on social media. If only the mean stans would realize that the last thing any of our kids want are being being bullied in their behalf. Yuck. So glad to have you here! XO, Christi

  11. Tonia D

    March 3rd, 2019 at 7:11 pm

    GREAT advice!! I wish more parents were involved! When my kids were under age, one rule we had that some didn’t agree with was: Mom & Dad have all passwords. I didn’t care what others thought. Our kids safety was out #1 priority.
    Keep up the great work on your blog!

  12. clukasiak

    March 4th, 2019 at 1:41 pm

    Oh, I LOVE that rule!! Good thinking, momma!! Thanks for the blog love! XO, Christi

  13. Marilyn

    March 3rd, 2019 at 8:27 pm

    Been following you all for a long time. You all are the Best. I have seen alot of the Bad comments and am glad you block them. I always say How can anyone say that to another human being and a child at that. Love what you do. Keep doing it.
    It works Soooo good!! Also glad you started posting pictures of yourself you got me to be Brave enough to as well and I always Hated it. Hope you all continue to be blessed with many
    Blessings and lots of opportunities.

  14. clukasiak

    March 4th, 2019 at 1:42 pm

    Marilyn! I love that I helped you be brave enough to post more pics of yourself! That made my day! Thanks for the love and stopping by. Great to have you! XO, Christi

  15. Paisley

    March 3rd, 2019 at 8:31 pm

    Thank you for your helpful tips Christi! I still deal with trolls and I’m 24 years old. Some people can be awful unfortunately. It’s definitely refreshing to come to your blog and read posts from someone who is positive and genuine! You are such a role model & I always look forward to your future posts. 🙂

  16. clukasiak

    March 4th, 2019 at 1:43 pm

    Yuck, I’m 42 and still deal with trolls, too! Thanks for the love and SO GREAT to have you here! Keep being positive and BLOCK THE HATE!! XO, Christi

  17. Maeroanoel Masina

    March 3rd, 2019 at 9:37 pm

    This was so good ..I have learn so much from it ..and also I love Christi because you are always stand up for you daughters.

  18. clukasiak

    March 4th, 2019 at 1:44 pm

    HI! Welcome! Thanks for the love and support! XO< Christi

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